After a long stay away from my home over the summer, I am now back in South Carolina and going to school. As I suspected, the drama has not ceased within this household. The negativity in this house is sometimes almost unbearable and physically painful. It occasionally gets to the point where people who are oblivious to empathy would be brought down by the energy surrounding them.

While I was away I dreaded coming back to this place. Living with people who have no concept of how their ambient energy effects the entire household is infuriating. Especially when they are sending off angry, self-absorbed, stressful energy in tidal waves and look for any opportunity to make you feel unimportant, stupid, worthless, or a waste of space in general. Honestly, I was terrified to come back here. I knew that this place would destroy me, and I thought I would be dead or insane by next summer.

But I have learned something about other people's negativity. I don't have to allow it in. I can make the choice whether I dwell on evil actions, words, and emotions that others bombard me with or whether I let them pass right over me. This realization has made me stronger in many ways.

I have come to understand that I don't have to allow other's to control my sense of self worth by continuously making comments obviously meant to break me. Furthermore, I refuse to give them the satisfaction of knowing they have caused me pain. By showing they have harmed me, or even allowing them to think that I dewll on their words for a single second, they would gain satisfaction from it. Making others feel worthless inorder to build up self esteem is one of the lowest forms of depravity and I will not allow them to use me as their personal ego inflator any longer.

I am stronger that that, worth more than they want me to believe. I Will Not judge my self worth by what other's think of me or what they want me to do. Nobody will control my life or my self esteem except for me. This is my life and nobody will ever tell me how to live it again and proceed to make me feel useless if I do not do as I am expected. I will rise above these rude comments and instead of allowing the heartbreaking words to take root in my mind and grow, I will use them as inspiration to keep going. I will use thier own arsenal against them and thrive, proving how wrong they are about me. I am becoming stronger by the day and success is within reach. Soon I will show them that the very words they used against me in an attempt to shatter my spirit are the same words that perfectly describe them.

Worthless, rude, careless, lazy, ignorant, self-absorbed, hateful, unintelligent, fat, ugly, failure, sinful, emotionless, uncaring, indecisive, futureless, waste of oxygen and space on this Earth

These words hold no meaning for me any longer. Looking at them, I see none that describe me at all. However, they seem to perfectly describe the person who spoke them. Taking out personal insecurities and weaknesses on others is childish, despicable, and loathsome. As if by calling others these names their darkest and most sickening qualities will transfer to another. Unfortunately for them it does not work like that, some things just arn't contagious.

Eternally,
Raven

As you browse through my artwork, you may notice that I have been doing more dark work, mostly poetry, than I have been in the past. This is because I have been in a dark mood lately, and my artistic talents follow my mood swings. I do not see anything wrong with shining a light on the darker side of life. Infact, I have a problem with allowing it to go unnoticed. I am naturally a very dark artist, my inspiration comes from issues and problems most people would prefer to cast aside and pretend doesn't exist. Since I have always been outspoken, and love to test my limits, obviously I would be attracted to these issues.

No I am not going to commit suicide, I am not starving myself, cutting, doing drugs, getting in fights, having family issues, or anything else I choose to write about. I am simply letting my inspiration flow. I write and draw what my senses show me. Perhaps I focus on aspects of life that others ignore, but that just makes my work all the more original.

So with that being said, please feel free to look through my art and enjoy yourself.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the girl who is cursed to hell by others because she holds another girl's hand.
I am the girl who watched as a parent dragged their children away from me calling me disgusting and sinful because a girl kissed me on the cheek.
I am the person who never fit in with the girls but was shut out by the guys.
I am the one who gave myself to someone I didn't love in a desperate attempt to prove how I felt could be changed.
I am the one who can't look at my own reflection because the outside doesn't match the inside.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.


Homophobia, the fear has become mainstream. When People say phrases like "That's so gay" and "Youu're a fag" they put less thought into what they are actually saying than when they order a double cheeseburger at McDonalds. Atleast at McDonalds they have to think about what they are going to say before hand. People use these phrases effortlessly, as if it just flows from their mouth. Phrases that can damage someones confidence, cause them to hate themselves, sometimes even kill themselves. I DO NOT want to witness another of my friends die, never want to go to another one of their funerals, and have to put flowers on their graves because they got called a faggot one to many times or couldn't handle the physical and emotional abuse any longer. I am tired of the news reports talking about how a 22 year old was brutally murdered because of a hate crime.

Honestly, take a moment to ask yourself why do you do it? Why physically and emotionally torture someone for being themselves. Why is it so wrong to love someone of the same sex so freely. And before you give me an answer like "It's wrong, unnatural, sinful, or disgusting" ask yourself why that is?

Is it wrong to be with the person you love, when that person makes you happy. Love is beautiful, in any shape or form. It is something to be admired and cherished. When two people truley love each other it is a blessing and it shouldn't matter what sex or gender the person is. Everyone always says "It's what's inside that counts". Why does that apply to looks but not love? That should apply to love above all else. The term soulmates describes two people who's souls combine to become complete. It is the soul that counts, not their biological gender. Which is worse, expressing your love for another individual in a relationship so strong that it can not be broken by constant criticism, or verbally, emotionally, and physically abusing someone because they choose to accept the love that they feel for another.

And I am sure others will bring the religious factor into it. "The BIBLE says it's wrong!". I am tired of hearing that reason, especially since I live in the Bible belt. Yes, the Bible say's it is wrong. The Bible also says it is okay to sell your child into slavery, but I don't see many parents doing that. And by the way, the Bible also says to treat others with respect. It is God's job to cast judgement, and no one elses. If it is truley wrong, you are not the one who should decree that they deserve to be punished. He and ONLY He can do that.

So why harm others for being Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgendered? Because people have been told for so long that it is wrong that they never stop to think that mabey it isn't so wrong afterall. Mabey, these people are just trying to live a life that makes them happy and have given up on living a life that brings everyone BUT them happiness. Homophobia - defined as the fear of gay people, or a fear of becoming gay. But it has become so much more than that, the fear has developed into hate, plain and simple. Everyone wants to be happy in life, and everyone deserves the oppertunity to achieve happiness. Nobody should be afraid to express their love out of fear of being isolated, descriminated against, or attacked. So Next time you consider saying "That's so gay" or "You're a faggot". Think about what you are really saying and the consequinces it might have on others.

I am not exaggerating this at all.

In a local elementary school a student brought an airsoft gun to class and aimed it point blank at a classmates head during recess and demanded his pokemon card back. I thought this was funny in a scary sort of way.

Really, pokemon cards? They are pretty much dead now.

yougioh (Or however it is spelled).... sure, I can see that.
Magic the Gathering..... okay, very understandable.

But Pokemon? Last I checked a charazard holigraphic was a few dollars, if that. That game is dead by now.

Yes, I thought this was cute in a twisted sort of way. I don't know what happened to the kid who tried this, but I hope he atleast got his card back. Damn it, he deserves it!